I have met a lot of miserable people and I too have been a
victim but that was long back though at time we all fall into the trench of loneliness,
unfulfilled goals, mediocrity, hopelessness but the sooner we get out the better. It is not how many
times you fall into the ditch but how fast you always get out that makes us
great. In my quest for a solution, I met various remedies but my problems were
just still a result of previous remedies and I was so confused that I was left
with nothing but just to call off this life. Unfulfilled expectations are the
order of the day, but that does not stop us dreaming, as they say aim for the
moon, that when you miss you fall in the stars. We always keep on firing and
pressing on towards the mark, dragging ourselves with the pacesetters, jogging
to the finish line, crawling to get it and this is just the order of the day.
This is everyone’s story and we all have everything in common but in different
magnitudes that one person’s success is another’s failure but the truth is that
we all fail, we all succeed, we all dream, we all work, we all imagine and the
only differences are that some have positive energy and some have negative energy
hence positive and negative results.
If there is one concept I think is still missed by many and
this has resulted in tones of stress, pressure, hopelessness, negativity, loneliness
etc. is this so called Selflessness. This concept has been preached many a time
but I still feel that most of the audience still do not get it. They have taken
it the absurd route of lack of self-respect prioritizing other’s people
respect. You allow other people to just crush your dreams, vibe, goals,
aspirations and all the positivity all in the name of “Mwari ndiye anoziwa”. I have nothing against surrendering all your
life in the hands of God, but I have issues with people who expose themselves
to the person of the flesh, then when all hell break loose, they cry out to the
famous saying. Why do you expose your weaknesses to your enemy?
This is the
question I have been asking a lot of people and I haven’t been getting favorable
responses though and it has been all blame game. The reason why you are so
miserable, is because you don’t know what you want and you have tried to live
in someone’s shoes for the past years you have been on this earth. You are
trying so hard to fit, and be identified as them, but the honest truth is that
you different my friend, and you can’t just be like them. Today I just want to force march you out of
your ‘comfort zone’ and I know it’s not even your comfort zone but theirs but
still just say ‘Enough is enough’. I
think you have had enough of this madness and you obviously begging for some
space and you have been crying out loud every time that ‘I beg to differ’, but it seemed everyone was just stepping on you
and suffocating you, draining away your energy and every time you just miserable.
Everyone seems to be hurting you, and you just need some time to heal your
wounds, but it seems there isn’t enough time for that as every attempt is
always adding salt to the wounds. Every time you just trying to express what
you don’t like and it seems there are so many things that you don’t like that
all the times they are caught off-side. You have tried to be as selfless as you
can but no one seems to be returning the same favor.
It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an
imitation of somebody else's life with perfection----Bhagwad Gita. As I
said before the reason why you are so miserable is because you have been
imitating someone’s life. I will not waste time on Selflessness as I suppose
you all aware of the concept and I have nothing against it, but I just want to demystify
the benefits of selflessness. It is supposed to bring you peace, love, joy and
happiness and It does not entirely mean there aren’t short moments when you
just low, but when you find yourself always miserable in the walk of
‘Selflessness’ then we have a problem. In my own view putting myself first encompasses
a lot of things. It involves self-respect which you personally give to
yourself. No one will give you this, but it involves your values, how you
handle yourself, and many other things on yourself and this will obviously
dictate how others should handle you.
I have met some people who have enough self-respect
that even their friends will not play any fun tricks on them. You are just
showing how others should treat you, as you treat yourself. If you don’t like
dirt you just keep yourself smart and people will just have to know that this
one does not like dirt, and you don’t even have to tell them that you don’t
like dirt. The personal values you place on yourself will even dictate how
these other people will handle you, the kind of stories and jokes they share
with you, the deals they engage you in etc. The other thing is just to love
other people as you love yourself and I think this is very self-explanatory and
I will not waste so much time on this, but in short I would like to say that
people usually react to how you treat them, and on treating them it does not
mean going beyond your personal values, capabilities, love and goodwill so that
at the end of the day you do not compromise your happiness for them. If you
want mega love, just invest more love into yourself and you will just reap more
benefits, remembering that you reap what you sow.
Another way that can surely transform your misery, is always
to speak positivity, give hope in hopelessness, courage in fear. Just being
positive will drain the negative energy of your perpetrators and this will in
turn feed into you that you will have more positive energy to feed back into
them. This is how the cycle works out, simple but helpful. You ought to try it!
Another great way to fight misery is just concentrate on what you love, spent
time with whom you love doing what you want most because this is what brings enlighten
to your day and joy to your heart. Concentrate on what you are capable of
doing, perfecting on your strengths and you will surely become an expert in
your field. Remember that the reason why you so miserable is because you have been
concentrating, telling people and showing them what you don’t like or love but
to be honest this does not help because it is not even your need to transform
what you hate to become what you love but rather to get the best out of what
you love most.
Tell and show them what you love and how you want to be
treated by treating yourself first. Express your feelings, when happy show
them, when upset show them too, because they just have to be aware of your
graph to know when they would have crossed the line. You are the architect of
your own happiness, misery is in your control, just drain it out and replace it
with enlightment.
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